Marketing explained in “date speak”

Allissa Haines (Writing a Blue Streak Blog)  in a Facebook post noted my use of dating metaphors to make search engine optimization understandable in my latest e-course: e-Marketing for Massage Professionals 101.

Yes, I’ve been single for far too long and dating occupies a certain amount of my mental energy, so it’s inevitable that I’m going to draw parallels. Here for the first time are various marketing strategies explained in dating English. (This post’s for you Allissa.) It’s a little more graphic than the PG metaphors in the e-Marketing course, so if you are easily put off, please stop reading now.

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them and say, “I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a fabulous girl/guy. You have one of your friends’ approach them, point at you and say, “She’s/He’s fantastic in bed.”

That’s Advertising.

You see a fabulous girl/guy at a party. You approach them to get their telephone number. The next day you call and say, “Hi, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Telemarketing.

You’re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. You get up, straighten your clothes, walk up and pour them a drink. You open the door, pick up their bag after it drops, offer them a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m fantastic in bed.”

That’s Public Relations.

You’re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They’ve been notified that 17 of their Friends “Like” that you’re fantastic in bed.

That’s Social Media Marketing.

You’re at a party and see a fabulous girl/guy. They walk up to you and say, “I hear you’re fantastic in bed.”

That’s Brand Recognition.

Eric
Eric Brown of BodyworkBiz (an online massage business resource) also owns Thermal Palms, Relax to the Max, World Massage Conference and Massage Therapy Radio. Sign up for the free BodyworkBiz massage marketing newsletter at http://bodyworkbiz.com/newsletter.php
Eric

@bodyworkbiz

You can now find me on Twitter @ericupsidebrown
Erik Dalton Techniques at Indiana State University | Eric Brown, BodyworkBiz Blog https://t.co/xIoW1VHqfA - 9 months ago
Eric
Loading Facebook Comments ...

3 thoughts on “Marketing explained in “date speak”

  1. This is great! I’ve been learning a lot about adwords cause my local market isn’t to competitive. Adwords is like going to a party with a poster board that reads “behind this poster is the man who is exactly what you came here looking for…in bed”

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*